"An Ugly Pair of Shoes"
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in the world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think of how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of the shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Early this spring I read this poem on someone else's blog. I was waiting to find out if I was miscarrying. In a very odd way this poem was a comfort to me. And just a day or so later, we found out our that baby was with Jesus. This has been the most difficult thing I have ever faced.
God has been more real to me in the last few months than ever before. I have found great refuge in His loving arms. A book that has helped point me towards God and helped me wade through the grief is the devotional Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg.
As the poem states, I believe I am stronger now. I have a greater sense of compassion for others going through trials and loss. And I know that no matter what I go through, I know that God will always be there for me.